Pullin' Fibers

This is the Sutter P-2000 Micropipette and optic fiber puller. It uses a CO2 laser to heat up glass and then pull it into very thin strands. I have been working for nearly two weeks to get this machine to make the correct shape on my optic fibers, and I'm so close I can smell the burnt quartz. I calibrated the thing, felt joy when it pulled its first optic fiber, felt despair when it failed. I've gone through a good 8 meters of single-mode optic fiber. That's the cheap kind, but still, its annoying. Until otherwise instructed, my job is to find the one magical configuration of parameters that makes this machine pull an optic fiber into a long, gracefully tapered tip.

The machine gives me control over 5 different parameters:

• HEAT: Goes from 0-999, and controls how hot the laser gets. The tips tend to get thinner as the heat goes up, but too hot and they start to curl up.
• FILAMENT: Goes from 0-15, and controls how wide a section of the fiber gets heated up before pulling. According to the manual, you never need to use more than 0 on optic fiber, but I've been experimenting with really high filament values to some good effect.
• VELOCITY: Goes from 0-255, and in a roundabout way controls how hot the fiber is before the machine gives it the final hard pull.
• DELAY: Goes from 0-255, and controls how long before or after the laser shuts off the machine should start pulling.
• PULL: Goes from 0-255, and controls how hard the machine pulls.

I've gotten so close so many times, I don't know if I can go on for much longer without going insane. I'll pull a tip, it'll look perfect and then I'll take it down to the microscope and my grad student mentor tells me "Close, but not quite" really nicely and then she'll show me a good tip under the microscope and I'm completely off. Here's my basic problem:

Guess which one I've been getting?

And what's worse, apparently nobody on the internet has the same problem as me, cause there are no forums or help sites about this machine.

Next article won't be me complaining, don't worry.

Edit: I just found out that Sutter publishes a "cookbook" of programs for pulling micropipettes. 2 problems: I need programs for optical fibers, not micropipettes, and I they haven't published one for my machine, only for the P-97 puller. The P-97 uses an electric filament, not a laser, so it can't melt quartz as well as the laser on the p-2000. Dammit.

Project Natal

So, Microsoft finally decided to try and muscle in on the Wii's Motion Control Monopoly. But check out the impressive(if wildly speculative and ambitious) preview video for Project Natal; the name is a hint about how far along they are designing the thing. 

Did you notice the songs at the beginning and end? That's right loyal readers, that was "Clunk-Rewind-Clunk-Replay-

Clunk" by Los Campesinos! Its the 36 second pop masterpiece that you wish was 4 minutes longer and had intelligible lyrics! Score one for Nintendo for supporting good artists!

PS: This is Aleks Campesinos, the female vocalist for Los Campesinos. 

She quit the band to attend school. The band still loves her, and the fans will all miss her sweet, airy vocals, and the great contrast it made with Gareth's hectic style. I saw her up close at a Los Campesinos show in Boston. Turns out she's actually three lawn gnomes standing on top of each other. Also, she was very nice.

Good Luck Aleks. Hope you don't miss being a rock star when you're working on a term paper.

American Idle

Ugh, I share a birthday with an American Idol winner. Now my hipster friends won't love me anymore.

RIP Armando Gerstel: The Burial

We buried him today. Ever since Grampi died, the weather has alternated between overcast and torrential. My mom went to go identify his body at the funeral home. She came out crying, which didn't surprise me. My uncle Henry went next to say goodbye. That's the first time I've ever seen him really cry. People break down over the most random things when they've been emotionally drained like we all have. Henry hated the fact that Grampi's body was just lying there on a cold table, when he surely deserved far more comfort than that. My mom collapsed on the podium as soon as she started her eulogy.

I am a practical person. I knew in the back of my head that my grandfather was ill, that his days on Earth were soon to come to an end. I had always hoped, however, that he would be able to hold out at least until I got married. What really killed me inside about his death was that I would never be able to introduce him to my girlfriend, Nancy. He and Nancy had spoken on the phone, and I had told Grampi all of the wonderful things about Nancy, and vice versa. Nancy thought that Grampi was handsome, and loved hearing stories about him. Her grandfather died a long time ago, and was a right bastard, to put it mildly. She told me that she liked imagining Grampi as her grandfather too. 

Nancy and I have been dating for nearly two years, and have decided to get engaged in about a year. She is not Jewish, and I don't plan on converting her. She would do so if I pressed the issue, but the Jews haven't forcibly converted people for 5700+ years, and I'm not about to be the first. I anticipate friction in the family because of this. Grampi and Annie were the first to learn anything of these plans. Annie giggled when she saw me wearing a titanium promise band on my ring finger. Grampi told me he would never forgive me if I went anywhere else but his shop (as if) for the engagement ring. Grampi was Jewish and Annie is a Christian, so he had a special understanding of the ways that an inter-religious couple had to compromise in order to work. Annie even suggested a rabbi she knew who would perform a marriage between a Jew and a Gentile.

I feel a little guilty wanting to prolong my grandfather's suffering for that long. Its just that I can't think of another person that I'd rather have at my wedding than the man whose warmth, generosity and personality I looked to for my entire life. Nancy and I decided yesterday to name our first son Armando Esformes, in honor of my hero.

PS.

When the final scoop of dirt was shoveled onto Grampi's grave, the rain stopped and the clouds parted, and the sun shown brightly for the first time in 4 days. God can be so maudlin sometimes, I swear. I would never have believed a story like that had I not witnessed it myself.

RIP Armando Gerstel

My grandfather died today. I just got done watching my sister be the best Cat in the Hat that a Suessical has ever seen, and I got the call right after. I wanted to tell my mom about it when we got home, but she got the call in the car and freaked out. She got out of the car, got on the sidewalk and laid there for 20 minutes. 5 cars stopped and asked if she was alright. I got her home and in bed, she took 3mg of Xanax and I think it's starting to hit her.

I cried for about 30 seconds when I heard, and now I feel numbness over my whole body. If I had to describe it, it would be like just coming down off a really bad drug trip; the numbness, the dizzyness, the vague anger at the whole world, its not a pleasant feeling.

My mom just asked me if she thinks Grampi left us anything. I can tell she's trying to be funny and cheer me up, but I don't feel anything right now. Twinges of sadness now and again but nothing else. The man was a millionaire, so he's probably left us something, but I can't for the life of me think of something I would want to buy with money. It sounds ridiculous to me. 

Armando Gerstel was a man of the highest character and integrity, a shrewd salesman and a loving and caring grandfather. He was very generous, and he was probably the only jewelry salesman in the world who wouldn't fuck you out of your money when you bought something from him. He was devastatingly intelligent and could play poker like a shark. Seriously, the guy could've made a good living playing poker. 

I seriously can't believe he's dead.

I Want My Cupcake

That is All.

My Maudlin Career

ATTENTION READERS: BUY THIS ALBUM

I've been a fan of Camera Obscura for a long time. I've heard about them through my favorite band Belle & Sebastian; the 

lead singer for B&S 

produced the Camera 

Obscura album Let's Get Out of This Country. 

Anyone who thinks that "twee" is a derogatory term has never listened to Camera Obscura. The violins they seem so found of make a sweet sonic background for the lead guitar, who whimsically noodles around with the melodies that singer Tracy-Anne Campbell weaves. You will hear no diva-esque belting out of weepy ballads here. Tracy-Anne doesn't scream when she's sad, she sits by the window quietly and sings to herself in a light, airy voice. Luckily, she lets us listen in every now and again.

Since most of you have probably never heard of Camera Obscura, I'm gonna suggest some songs that will get you immediately hooked, and demand that you buy them sight unseen and listen to them obsessively until you want to hug somebody in the rain. In fact, if you're still reading this, just go right now and buy all four of their fantastic albums. Go on, this blog'll be here when you get back.

From My Maudlin Career

1. Honey in the Sun

Really the only song where saxophonist Nigel Baillie gets to shine, probably because he had to leave the band soon after the album's release due to a new baby. Lively, fun, with lyrics that display emotional depth unheard of in anything on the radio in the last ten years. The saxophone manages to lift the listener's spirit up and down like a ragdoll, just like the singer's.

2. French Navy

Oh, Tracy. How many times do we have to say it, "Stop having flings with deep, enigmatic strangers." And a sailor? C'mon, you know he's gonna have to leave you, no matter how much he loves you. Again, lyrics like the best novel you've ever read, and violin work that makes you wanna dance. I would've bought this album on the strength of this one song alone.

3. My Maudlin Career

It's strange to hear Camera Obscura using electric guitars to make the ambience usually made with violins, but as usual, they pull it off very well. Delicate, tinkling pianos and unusually blunt lyrics remind the listener that this band still has a lot of innovation left in them after four albums. When Tracy-Anne says, "This maudlin career has come to an end," we can only hope that she's talking about her sadness, and not about the band.

From Biggest Bluest Hi-Fi

1. Happy New Year

One of the happy ones, obviously. No violins, but Tracy-Anne makes up for it with a livelier-than-normal tune and an excellent duet with pianist Carey Lander.

2.Eighties Fan

I would call this an anthem for disaffected teenage girls, but it's missing something. Even when it shows sympathy

 for the girl in song, it also gently reminds her that she is just a teenager, and she's not gonna make everyone love her, no matter what she does.

3. Houseboat

Another great duet with Tracy-Anne and Carey, and the perfect love song for couples.

From Let's Get Out of This Country

1. Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken

One of the more rock-oriented Camera Obscura songs, with a fantastic video that makes 50's TV romance look as creepy as it should've looked in the 50's.

2. Tears For Affairs

Remember when I said that Tracy-Anne 

cries by the window when she's sad? Well, after that, she gently mocks herself for getting too caught up in a fling. Until the next guy comes along, of course.

3. If Looks Could Kill

Another lively twee-rock masterpiece. Tracy threatens to kill her favorite guy if he doesn't cheer up.

From Underachievers Please Try Harder

1. Suspended From Class

Lovely horns frame this relaxing duet about breaking people's hearts and feeling naughty for doing it.

2. Before You Cry

One of the few songs where Carey Lander is the lead singer, this song about a tempestuous relationship has a pleasant country tone to it, including a devastatingly emotional harmonica solo that communicates hopeful heartbreak better than anything else could.

3. Let Me Go Home

Camera Obscura's foray into the realm of dance music is an addictive little ditty that manages to maintain its twee tone even when the singer talks about his records getting crushed because everyone rushed over to the liquor.

I picked three songs from each of their albums, as you can see. Still, even though they can be a bit mellow at times, Camera Obscura's worst song is still miles ahead of anything that you'll hear in mainstream pop today. Too often, when an artist is described as emotional, it means that they scream  and cry into their microphones and rail at the unfair world that they're forced to inhabit. I'm not bashing those bands; I'm a huge My Chemical Romance fan. Camera Obscura achieves an astonishing level of emotion in their music with nothing but thoughtful lyrics, catchy tunes and fantastic lyrical talent. Who would've thought that would be enough?